Week 3 – What am I afraid of…..?

This has been a very interesting week for me, not a particularly enjoyable week, but interesting. I have been completely overwhelmed this week. I know many people are struggling with their personal demons, but I feel mine got the best of me this week. I don’t mean to complain or whine, but this is my blog, and I feel I am entitled to share. Work has been very busy lately, school is just overwhelming me, I have a new calling in the Relief Society Presidency in my ward, I am looking for a new home, I am not getting enough rest, and I know my eating habits have turned topsy turvey.

Part of this week’s class was “Deconstructing Your Fears”. This is when my light bulb went on, and I bet if I listened carefully I would have heard a “ding, ding” too. I am afraid of EVERYTHING. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true, fear has me paralyzed. I am afraid to make decisions, in case they are the wrong ones. Then I read something in our readings this week “FEAR THRIVES ON SECRECY” (Acton Foundation for Entrepreneurial Excellence). This is so true, when I fear something, I feel inadequate, and who wants to share their inadequacies with anyone. So I keep my fears to myself. If misery loves company, fear loves solitude. It is time for me to speak up and share my fears. There may be someone else out there who has the same fear, or has found a way to cope with it or, better yet, overcome it. Maybe my experience, could help someone else. I don’t have to climb the mountain and shout my fear from upon high, but just sharing it with those I trust, will help me confront my fear in the light of day, and may also help me realize, it’s really not as scary as I first thought.

This is my time, and I choose to be in control.